| TRANSLATOR: We have determined that you weigh 70 pounds on Earth. How much do you weigh on your homeland? |
| Niffel: I think about 25 or 26 pounds. |
| TRANSLATOR: When is your Earth birthday? How old will you be on your next Earth birthday? |
| Niffel: My birthday is January 9, 1980 and I will be 23 Earth years old on my next birthday. |
| TRANSLATOR: How old are you on your homeland? |
| Niffel: 92 on my last birthday. |
| TRANSLATOR: How long is a year on your homeland? |
| Niffel: We have 4 years in the time it takes the Earth to have one. |
| TRANSLATOR: How long is a day on your homeland? |
| Niffel: Our day is about 59 Earth days long. |
| TRANSLATOR: How many natural satellites does your homeland have? |
| Niffel: It don't know what a satellite is. |
| TRANSLATOR: Any rings? |
| Niffel: Most of our bathtubs have rings. |
| TRANSLATOR: Describe some of the major surface features of your homeland. |
| Niffel: It is covered with holes. |
| TRANSLATOR: Is your homeland an inner planet, outer planet, or not a planet? If it is a planet, is it a terrestrial or gas planet? |
| Niffel: My home is an inner, terrestial planet. |
| TRANSLATOR: What is the distance from the Sun to your homeland? |
| Niffel: Almost 58 million kilometers. |
| TRANSLATOR: What is the size of your homeland? |
| Niffel: About the same size as the Earth. |
| TRANSLATOR: Describe the atmosphere of your homeland. |
| Niffel: On a good day a little helium blows past. |
| TRANSLATOR: What is the surface temperature of your homeland? |
| Niffel: Sometimes you can fry an egg on the concrete here on Earth, but at home it is hot enough to melt lead! |
| TRANSLATOR: Have there been any space missions to your homeland? |
| Niffel: About 25 or 30 Earth years ago a spacecraft called the Mariner 10 flew by and took thousands of pictures. |
| TRANSLATOR: What is the latest news on your homeland? |
| Niffel: A couple of Earth years ago, scientists said we were in a conjunction. It seems we were on the opposite side of the Sun with a bunch of other planets. |
| TRANSLATOR: How did your homeland get its name? |
| Niffel: It was named after the messenger-god of Jupiter. |